LetsMoveToTheMoon

God, Technology, and Things That Make Us Want to Move to the Moon

The Top Five SkyMall Products of Early Spring 2009

March 23, 2009

The other day I took a short flight from Chicago to Philadelphia, and as I usually do I picked up the SkyMall catalog provided in my seat pocket. I want to thank whoever came up with the SkyMall catalog, because I am generally entertained by it for about 60% of any given flight (seriously, unlike other people who have come up with lists like this, I am not angered by the products — I greatly enjoy them and think they’re hilarious). I decided to pick out some of my favorite products from the Early Spring 2009 edition for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Number 5: The Equal Measure Measuring Cup

I know that every time I’ve baked cookies I’ve thought to myself, “Hm, I wonder what the volume of half a human brain is.” Finally, a product that answers this question and many others! Be careful or you may not notice the subtle genius behind this product. This is no normal measuring cup; this measuring cup is helpful…and educational! This measuring cup places next to common measurements interesting items of the same volume. Check out some of these: volume of half a human brain, volume of body cells that die on a given day, amount of table salt in a large human. Don’t miss this steal!

Number 4: The Sleep Regulating Sun Lamp

At only $250, this go-the-heck-outside replacement lamp offers all you will ever need to completely avoid the outdoors. When you wake up to this bright blue artificial sunlight, you’ll feel better than ever and ready to start your day!

Number 3: Remote Control Covers

I couldn’t pass this one up. To be honest, I am a bit of a germ freak (and really, I hate the phrase “germ freak”…I make fun of people who use that phrase). I notice things like when the lady at the ice cream stand takes a customer’s money then makes my ice cream, for instance. One thing I have never thought about, though, is how many germs are on the hotel remote control. But now, I don’t have to! I’m willing to pay 500 times the cost of a Lysol Disinfecting wipe (according to the Lysol website, one wipe would cost about $0.08) for the assurance that my remote control will be squeaky clean.

Number 2: Largest Crossword Puzzle

In my book, this item is a classic. It’s been in every SkyMall catalog for as long as I can remember. Every time I pick up a copy of SkyMall, I scan through it to make sure that the Largest Crossword Puzzle is still there. And no, I’m not kidding. Regardless, what better way to make yourself feel like you know nothing at all than to put a humungous crossword puzzle on your living room wall? Its only competition in the arena of elegant home wall decor, the World’s Largest Write-On Map, is another SkyMall staple which I highly recommend.

Number 1: Sensor Touchless Trash Cans

Rounding out the list of my favorite SkyMall items is the Sensor Touchless Trash Can. Just in case the foot petal was a bit too much work for you, the creators of this waste disposal container have made the process one step simpler. You simply wave your hand in front of the sensor and POW! the lid lifts up. My kitchen experience has just gotten a little bit better.

Extra #1: Garden Sculptures: Just in case those weren’t enough for you, I’ve got two more products that I know you’ll love. In the garden sculpture category, no works of art can compete with the Big Foot Garden Sculpture or Basho the Sumo Wrestler. These two would enhance any outdoor decor.

Extra #2: According to page 4 of the catalog, the name of the SkyMall president is Christine Aguilera. Do with that what you wish.

All that to say: what are we doing here? Consider moving to the moon. Oh, and post other funny SkyMall products or stories in the comments.